Red Velvet
by Mockingbird Quester
Summary: When an unsuspecting Spock eats red cake at Bones' birthday party, the result is... unexpected. K/S preslash


After living with Bones as a roomate for 4 years, one thing that Jim knew was his CMO's favorite type of cake. Maybe it was because he had grown up in the south, but Bones adored the unique confection known as red velvet cake, complete with it's hideous red color and cream cheese frosting. Before they left orbit for their five year mission, the captain had requested all the ingredients so the ship's cook could create one on Bone's birthday.

Getting Bones to stop working long enough to show up for his own surprise party had been the difficult part, but once he was at the table cutting slices of the cake for most of the crew, McCoy had stopped grumbling and seemed pleasantly surprised by his friend's thoughtfulness. Even most people who had never had the chance to try a red velvet cake did so, since it was such a regional specialty in the United States. This included their Vulcan first officer.

Poking at his piece of cake curiously, he asked Jim "What creates the red color?"

"Hmmm...Just red food dye, I think." the captain replied.

Looking as though it would poison him, Spock took a cautious nibble.

"This is... surprisingly attractive in both taste and scent." the Vulcan noted, and Jim was amused to notice he went back to the table for a second piece a few minutes later, when he heard the doctor roar "Dammit, stop eating all my cake, you green-blooded hobgoblin!!"

He was less amused a few minutes later, when he realized that Spock was acting... oddly.

His first officer was seated on a couch, watching people around him with half-lidded eyes. His lips were quirked upward in a way that Kirk recognized as showing he was amused, and rather than sitting ramrod straight as he normally did, the Vulcan was sprawled across half the seat in a way that could only be described as relaxed. Thinking of how little sugar he had seen the Vulcan normally consume, Jim assumed he was enjoying some kind of sugar rush and noted to himself that he should try to acquire some pixie sticks the next time they were on leave and see how the Vulcan reacted to them ;)

A few minutes later, Kirk saw Uhura sitting beside him on the couch and heard her trying to persuade Spock to go back to his room for some reason. The entire party came to a complete halt when the normally stoic first officer all by yelled "I do not wish to go to my quarters! I am content where I am!!"

Eyes flashing, Uhura turned on Kirk and demanded "What is in that cake?" Apparently red velvet cakes about as common in Africa as they were in Iowa, since she obviously hadn't had it before. Bones began listing off ingredients "Flour, sugar, eggs, baking chocolate, red dye..."

"Dr. McCoy, chocolate is an inebriate to Vulcan physiology. I suggest he go to sickbay and receive something to counteract it's effects." the communications officer demanded, as Spock tilted his head back and regarded the overhead lights curiously. Jim found himself wishing that Spock and Uhura hadn't recently broken up, since then she woudl have been keeping an eye on what he was eating and then the Vulcan wouldn't be in this situation.

"Wait, are you saying Spock is DRUNK?", Jim asked.

"That is exactly what I am saying Captain." Jim idly wondered how it was that only Bones and Uhura could make his title sound like they were saying "asshole".

He saw McCoy moving towards Spock and realized his CMO was about to leave his own birthday party in order to do what Uhura had suggested. "Hey Bones, don't get up! I'll walk Spock to sickbay to rest it off, and you just come down when the party is over."

"Jim, are you sure..."

"No problem." He approached the Vulcan, and after a few minutes of arguing finally just ordered his number one to follow him to the Medbay. Only a few feet out the door however, Jim realized this would be easier said than done.

After the third time Spock stumbled into the corridor wall, he noted that "I am currently having perception problems that seems to make mobility somewhat challenging."

"Yeah", Kirk replied with a derisive snort, "I can see that."

The captain moved Spock's arm over his own shoulder and began helping him make him way to the turbolift. Once they were inside, he had to reach around Spock's chest to push the button, and he suddenly found his face only inches away from the Vulcan's. He attempted to move back, only to have Spock lean down and kiss his mouth.

"Your lips are very attractive, Captain."

Jim rolled his eyes. "Now I definitely know you are drunk. You are soo going to hate yourself in the morning."

His words didn't seem to register in Spock's mind, and Kirk found himself wishing he wasn't in close contact with a touch telepath who could likely feel his arousal mentally. "Spock! Stop it and let's get out of here already!"

He managed to steer the larger man out of the lift and down the hall to sickbay, before he realized that the Vulcan's complexion was looking much greener than usual.

"Captain, I am feeling a strong sense of vertigo and deep regret at consuming food that is apparently being rejected by my digestive system." he said in a low and slightly slurred voice.

It took Kirk a good 20 seconds to figure out what Spock was saying. "Damn it! Don't you DARE barf on me!!" the captain yelled, and they made it into the medlab and he managed to steer Spock onto a cot.

By the time McCoy made it down to check on the two of them, Spock was passed out with a trickle of drool running down his chin and Jim was looking at him thoughtfully.

McCoy regarded him warily. "I know I don't want to know what you are thinking."

Jim gave a wicked grin as he left the medical lab. "I'm just wondering how much chocolate I have stashed in my quarters and how I can convince Spock to eat it."

"Dammit Jim! Do not make me want to wash my brain! I said I don't want to know!" the doctor yelled.

As he walked back to the bridge, Kirk found himself trying to calculate what amount of chocolate might give Spock a pleasant buzz (making him a little horny wouldn't hurt either) without actually making his too compromised to give consent. He would look forward to finding out ;) 


End file.
